I’m going to be speaking generally and saying “men” throughout this. If you feel the urge to go “bUt nOt aLL mEn!” then this blog post is directed at you.
“Oh my god, he called me a bitch and a slut after I rejected him!”
“He pressured me to go on a date with him for months until I said yes!”
These statements have never, ever, ever, EVER been spoken. And for a good reason.
“Well actually Solér, I’m nice to women, but they don’t realize my worth because I don’t treat them like trash. You see, women don’t like guys who are nice to them like me, they like assholes. So if they say no to me, I talk to them like trash because that’s what women lik-”
LET ME STOP YOU RIGHT THERE.
- Women love nice people, you aren’t as nice as you think you are.
- Niceness does NOT equal having a keycard into every woman’s pants.
- If the only reason why you’re ‘nice’ is that you *might* get laid, you’re an asshole.
- EVEN IF YOU APPROACH A WOMAN POLITELY, THEY DO NOT OWE YOU AN ANSWER.
Newsflash: You don’t get a medal for being a decent person. I’m genuinely perplexed about how many men seem to actually believe this. This directly ties in with street harassment because men will approach women ‘nicely’ and if they get gently turned down, ignored, or rudely rejected, then they become ENRAGED.
“How DARE she not acknowledge me when I was NICE?!”
Translation: “I treated her as a human being should be treated, and she still didn’t want to talk to me! I’m not thinking about whether or not she’s married, if she has a boyfriend, if she’s not attracted to me, if she’s not attracted to men, or if she’s not in the mood to talk to anyone. THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IS MY EGO!”
“Nice guys” are only nice when you give them what they want with no hesitation.
It’s scary to me because whole ass men are walking around who think that they should only be kind to a woman because they eventually would like to sleep with them. This isn’t a matter of whiny feminists are ungrateful for compliments from men, this is a life and death matter. Just type “woman killed for rejecting man” or “woman beaten for turning down man” into Google, and you’ll see what I mean.
We condition men to believe that any type of romantic rejection is an insult to them as a person. From the time they’re little boys, men are taught to tie their ideas of self-worth directly with how much sex they’re having/how many girls they’re dating. THIS IS WHY MEN SUFFER UNDER PATRIARCHY AS WELL. The definition of feminism is the belief in the social, economic, and political equality of the sexes. Even though patriarchy benefits men in a lot of areas, it doesn’t mean they aren’t negatively affected in just as many ways.
A symptom of patriarchy is toxic masculinity/hyper-masculinity. This culture places so much value on men and how many women they’re having sex with men will equate their worth with what women think of them. THIS is why we see these women being murdered for saying no. When you raise a boy into a man with the idea of “I am measured by how many women I can have sex with” combined with no coping mechanisms for rejection? It’s a recipe for disaster.
If you ever meet a self-proclaimed “Nice Guy”: RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN. EVERYONE should be nice, that shouldn’t be something you claim as if you should get a prize for being a DECENT human being. If you’re an actual nice person, then YOU DON’T HAVE TO TELL ANYONE! Just don’t be an awful person, and you’ll get far in life. “Nice guys” are manipulative with their ‘niceness.’ They’ll do the whole “I’m not like other guys, so I deserve [enter sexual act here]” or “I’m a nice guy, NOT a douche bag, you should give me [whatever he wants].” It’s frightening that there’s this entire subculture (incels) of men who feel entitled to women BASED off of them treating women as equals AS WE SHOULD BE TREATED. If you have to remind people about how nice you are constantly, then you’re probably not as lovely as you think you are.